Everything Wrong with the Tooth Fairy
and other lies you were told as a child
By: Sandra Adams
The Tooth Fairy
Let's start off with something easy. I’ll give you a scenario and you tell me if it’s okay or not. You’re a little child, you’ve just lost your first tooth and your mother told you to hide it under your pillow to get money from the tooth fairy. Does that sound like a good idea? If you said yes… YOU’RE WRONG! Who does that? What kind of parent teaches their children to sell parts of their bodies to fae folk? Who came up with that and thought that it would be okay?! We need to stop this! Stop telling kids it's okay to give a piece of themselves to the fairies in exchange for money! And why does she even need the teeth? That is extremely suspicious if you ask me.
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Santa Claus
Next we have another childhood favorite… Santa Claus. Now before I say anything, I just want to know… who came up with him? Why did you do this? I swear I just want to talk. Like why? Why is it okay for a magical guy in a suit, to break into our houses, steal our cookies, and then leave presents. That makes absolutely no sense. Why do we, as a society, want someone to break in?! What happens if we don’t leave cookies out? Do people not get presents? Does he turn into Krampus and just get rid of you? Is he some type of mythical god that we must appease with snacks so that we can get his blessings? There is way too much information left out of the picture here for me to feel safe.
Easter Bunny
Last but not least… we have the Easter Bunny. Now this bunny might seem innocent, he comes and leaves eggs full of candy for children to find. He doesn't make any exchange or expect anything back like the Tooth Fairy or Santa. But that's almost worse. Why doesn't he take anything? Why does he just hide eggs and then peacefully (if it's really peaceful) leave? Why would you willingly give something to children without expecting anything in return? To make them happy? Who wants to do that? Highly suspicious if you ask me.
As you can see from this list… We have come up with these terrifying fantasy creatures, to convince the demon offsprings themselves (children) to behave! I shudder to think what we will come up with next. I have lost faith in humanity entirely.