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by Kaela VanDoren

Which

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Shrek

Movie is Truly the Best?

If you are a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you've seen Shrek. We all have our own separate opinions on which of the movies is the very best, but which of us is actually speaking the truth? Not considering my own opinions or ratings given by critics, I searched out to discover which Shrek movie is scientifically the best.

Criteria: 

Sountrack

The soundtrack portion of the criteria considered was judged on how many memorable songs were in each movie. These songs had to be during the film and not during the credits or extra features.

Shrek

  1. I’m A Believer               - The Monkees

  2. All Star - Smash Mouth

  3. Bad Reputation             - Joan Jett

  4. I’m On My Way            - The Proclaimers

  5. Hallelujah                     - Leonard Cohen

  6. My Beloved Monster     - Eels

Shrek 2

  1. Accidentally In Love    - Counting Crows

  2. Changes - David Bowie

  3. Funkytown - Lipps Inc.

  4. I Need Some Sleep       - Eels

  5. Little Drop of Poison    - Tom Waits

  6. People Ain’t No Good  - Nick Cave

  7. Livin’ La Vida Loca     - Ricky Martin

  8. Holding Out For a Hero - Jennifer Saunders

  9. Ever Fallen in Love      - Pete Yorn

Shrek Forever After

  1. Top of the World - Carpenters

  2. Click Click - Light FM

  3. Shake Your Groove Thing        - Michael Simpson

  4. Sure Shot - Beastie Boys

  5. I’m a Believer - Weezer

  6. One Love - Antonio Banderas 

  7. Darling I Do - Landon Pigg & Lucy Schwartz

  8. Hello - Lional Richie

  9. These Eyes - The Guess Who

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Click on the album covers

Shrek the Third

  1. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin

  2. Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings

  3. Cat’s in the Cradle - Harry Chapin

  4. Barracuda - Fergie

  5. Losing Streak - Eels

  6. Thank You - Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas

  7. Nine Crimes - Damian Rice

  8. Royal Pain - Eels

  9. Final Showdown - Maya Rudolph & Rupert Everett

  10. Extra point for having an original song

Shrek the Third is the winner of round 1!

Voice Actors

When judging the movies on the category of voice actors, I based it on how many iconic voice actors each movie has. The movie with the most iconic voice actors will be the winner.

Click on the characters!

Shrek

  1. Mike Meyers

  2. Eddie Murphy

  3. Cameron Diaz

  4. John Lithgow

  5. Vincent Cassel

Shrek 2

  1. Mike Meyers

  2. Eddie Murphy

  3. Cameron Diaz

  4. Antonio Banderas

  5. Rupert Everett

  6. John Cleese

  7. Julie Andrews

  8. Larry King

  9. Jennifer Saunders

Shrek the Third

  1. Mike Meyers

  2. Eddie Murphy

  3. Cameron Diaz

  4. Antonio Banderas

  5. Rupert Everett

  6. John Cleese

  7. Julie Andrews

  8. Walt Dohrn

  9. Eric Idle

  10. Amy Poehler

  11. Justin Timberlake

  12. John Krasinski

  13. Larry King

  14. Maya Rudolph

  15. Seth Rogan

Shrek Forever After

  1. Mike Meyers

  2. Cameron Diaz

  3. Eddie Murphy

  4. Antonio Banderas

  5. Walt Dohrn

  6. John Cleese

  7. Julie Andrews

  8. Jane Lynch

  9. Craig Robinson

  10. Jon Hamm

  11. Kristen Schaal

Shrek the Third is the winner of round 2!

Plot

When judging the movie on the concept of plot, I had to be completely unbiased. I wrote out the general summary of the plots of each movie and judged them based on how intricate and well thought out it was.

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Shrek

 Shrek wants the fairy-tale creatures out of his swamp, Farquaad wants to be king. He hires Shrek to get Fiona for him, in return, he’ll get rid of the fairy-tale intruders.

Shrek 2

Fiona’s family invites them to come home for a royal ball, but Shrek doesn’t want to go. After having a fight, Shrek tries to win back Fiona by turning handsome, which turns him and Fiona human. Charming acts as Shrek and Shrek has to get her back before Charming uses a potion to make her fall in love with him at midnight.

Shrek the Third

Shrek and Fiona pose as king and queen while Harold is sick. After he dies, Shrek is determined to find the last heir (Arthur) so he doesn’t have to be king. Fiona is pregnant and Shrek is overwhelmed. Charming will stop at nothing to get rid of the other heirs (Shrek, Fiona, and Arthur) so he can be king.

Shrek Forever After

Shrek’s life becomes repetitive with children, so he makes a wish that for one day, he could go back to being a “real ogre”, where he terrorized villagers and was wanted. But, the catch to the wish was that Rumpelstiltskin took the day he was born in return for the day he had given him. This meant that if Shrek didn’t put his life back together before the end of the day, he would die. So he has to make Fiona fall in love with him again, but this time, she’s independent

Shrek Forever After is the winner of round 3!

Click on the characters!

Character Development

The next level of consideration for the winning movie is character development. When judging character development, you must contemplate how much Shrek really changed from the beginning to the end of the movie. The amount of change is what decides the winner.

Shrek

​From wanting to be alone to having a friend & wife

Shrek 2

​ From wanting to close off people who might reject him to having a family

Shrek​ the Third

From worrying about change in his life to being a great father

Shrek Forever After

From not appreciating his life to finding a whole new meaning​

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Shrek Forever After is the winner of round 4!

Villains
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Click on the characters!

The fifth round of criteria is villains. The movies will be judged on the independence, perseverance, and defeat of their main villain. Whichever movie's antagonist was clearly the best villain, will be declared the winner of this round.

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Shrek

- Lord Farquaad

Lazy, made everyone else do the work, gross

Motive: Wanted to be king

Died; eaten by the dragon

Shrek 2

-Fairy Godmother

No one did the work for her, had the help of Harold and Charming

Motive: For her son to be king, getting rid of Shrek

Died; reversed spell off of Harold

Shrek​ the Third

- Prince Charming

Found a bunch of other villains to help, angry theater kid

Motive: To be king, getting rid of Shrek, Fiona, & Arthur, bad at aiming

Died; castle fell on him

Shrek Forever After

- Rumpelstiltskin

Lazy, made the witches do most of the work, played psychological games

Motive: To be King

defeated and imprisoned by the ogres

Shrek 2 is the winner of round 5!

After considering the 5 levels of criteria, we wound up with a tie between Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After. Since I cannot leave it this way, I must create a boss round. But, because Shrek the Third has been my favorite for as long as I can remember, it would be unfair if I chose it as the winner just because it’s my favorite, so I decided to take a poll. I asked all of the members of the publications class what, out of the two tied movies, was their favorite. The results were a crushing 4-1 in favor of Shrek the Third. Huzzah!

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